Work can be a pain sometimes. The paycheck at the end of the pay period is good, one has to pay the bills. But why does it have to be that way some days and some days it's great. The job I'm in now, it will be 10 years this October that I've been in that job. It's been one of the most frustrating jobs to learn I've ever had probably because of the variety of things one must know and remember--it's a church secretary job. I kind of fell into it accidently and somehow have managed to stay in it after all these years. Let's face it, EVERY JOB has it's frustrations and downfalls along with the rewarding part of it. But also one can get burn out.
I've been TRYING to get another job on and off, mostly on, for the last 3 years. A couple times I just got discouraged and didn't job hunt for awhile. I'm getting to the place where I can hardly stand to go to work at the church anymore although I do go and do my work. But I DON'T LIKE IT! I've thought of doing temporary and actually I did get accepted at Walmart but I just couldn't take it because I would be making ALOT less than I do at the church. Surprising I don't make too bad money at the church--the pastor believes in giving raises regularly to his employees. And I am in a position that we (my husband and I) aren't doing too bad financially, but I just wanted to end my career on a good note.
I do believe that my age of 56 has something to do with not finding a job. I've had 35 years, let me see, that's 56-18=38 - yes, that's 38 years of secretarial or administrative assistant or receptionist or customer service experience, whatever name you want to put on it. And all that experience doesn't seem to add up to much I guess. I have kept up on my computer and people skills so I don't know what else the problem could be. Although I have heard ALOT of people have also had this job finding problem and some are younger than I am.
The drawbacks at the church job are that I work with crappy equipment including an outdated computer, an OLD folding machine that works very inefficiently and it's a struggle to keep going and since they are renovating the church, they don't want to spend any money right now. So I wonder what they will do when the old computer gives out and the folding machine dies. Both my husband and the maintenance repair person at the church said that it should be junked although my husband was able to at least get the machine to a place where it runs anyway although it folds the paper alot.
The other drawbacks are that my co-worker, who's been at the church for about 35 years as a secretary much to her credit that she has seen ALOT through those years, but she's worn out physically and mentally. She's on so many medicines, that she's getting really forgetful and nobody seems to notice but me or maybe I'm the only one that is bugged by her recent lags in memory. I'm sure everybody else is pretty much snowed by her.
Also the pastor is worn out physically and mentally after being there for a couple months longer than I have. His memory is getting a little questionable.
Now I also have times where I forget things but they seem to forget that they are forgetting things also, I'm a part time employee and they are full time, so therefore have more responsibility than I do. I want to work full time but they won't let me saying they can't afford to. But they can't afford to let things slide like they have been.
They have recently been trying to hire an administrator for the church so that the pastor can go back to doing pastoral stuff like he is suppose to instead of administrative crap like he doesn't want to do. I'm hoping that the administrator is allowed to do his job without input from the co-worker or the pastor, lest they try to make things seem different than they are. I feel that I can be fair and honest about most things, and if asked, I will let the administrator know how things are.
The co-worker has, for whatever reason, tries to compete with me and has done that from day one. We are both about the same age, I'm 3 years older than her, I look younger than her even though we are both overweight although she's a lot shorter and it shows more. At the beginning of my job, she taught me a whole lot but also she's taught me that I need to watch out for her because she can be vindictive, nice only when she wants something or information, or just plain in a bad mood and be crabby. It's been a stuggle with her and I've mostly been the one that tried really hard to get along with her just to keep the peace. I finally learned to STOP trusting her with any information after I got out of the same office with her this past April, 2006 when we moved out of the area we were in. Now at least I don't have to put up with her moods because we are in separate offices. THAT IS HALF THE BATTLE! But she has learned to finally adapt to our new surroundings recently after a 4 month period in which she acted stunned and therefore stayed out of my hair and stopped making trouble. BUT SHE'S BA-A-A-ACK!! even at a distance of one floor. Also, she is TERRIBLY disorganized and her papers and junk have been causing problems in the office for years and now she's losing things. All the crap she's caused me through the years, has caused me to be just a little bitter towards her although now I don't take her crap, I more or less POLITELY throw it back in her face without appearing hard to get along with. She's been doing that for years! Guess I learned from a pro. She came from a big family and is used to fighting for a spot but for some reason she has felt threatened by me and I don't know why! WIERD! Anyway, she's a big part of the problem with the job. I've tried all these years not to let her get to me and I've had it! I don't need to put up with that!
No, but I'm still going to try to get out of that job. I put out 8 resumes this week and went down to a office supply store to apply for a customer service or even sales associate job. I've had all this experience with office supplies,why shouldn't I work with office supplies, paperclips, rulers,etc. etc. etc. We'll see if they see it my way. Probably not.
Needless to say, this has been a frustrating part of my life.
Also, I have had memory issues, some minor health issues,etc. and decided to have things checked out this year. We have health insurance but that doesn't cover like it did so I've had to pay in some after insurance pays but at least now I know that I don't have anything wrong with my brain, my colon, and other parts of me. So it all goes back to being overweight I guess. AND THAT IS AND ALWAYS WILL BE A STRUGGLE! So I guess I'm happy I'm healty but still feel crappy. Such is life!
And my spiritual life is suffering because of my church job. I've missed a lot of Sundays not going to church. I don't know if they have noticed at work or not--probably not. We have 3 services to go to. I know God is there, helping me, but I'm so jaded by my work experience, that I JUST CAN't GET THERE! This Fall Choir will be starting up so I'll have to get to church plus we have a new director whom I've gotten acquainted with--she's very talented and should add alot to our choir. Even with all that, I can't get geared up for it. I'm tired of it.
My husband has been retired for 6 years and I have another 6 years to go to reach 62 where I can retire but make less money, actually not too much less than I make working but a lot less than if I wait until I'm 66 to get more social security. I do have an IRA and some savings but more money at retirement would be better. I would just LOVE to join my husband being retired before it's too late. He's 11 years older than I and although he's in good health, if I wait until I'm 66 to officially retire and get better Social Security, provided it's there yet, he'll be 77. He is diabetic and even though his parents made it into their 90's, he does have a health condition that they didn't have and he worked 2 jobs until he retired, so I think he's worn out.
Well I guess I've pissed and moaned enough and will quit. I don't know if I feel better but in a way it's nice to get it talked about.
Actually I do feel better.
